..and then there were four

[Fogelhund]

So it we are adopting another kid, to give us four.

The story goes a little bit like this. My wife's (Dawne) father got married several times after he left my wife's mother. Dawne was about 14 or 15 when he left. One of the marriages resulted in a couple of girls. The mother of these girls is a dead beat, never had a job. She remarried and had twin girls, divorced husband #2 as well. She has a boyfriend now.... four kids, two adults, and the combined family income is $1,500 a month, from child support payments from Husband #2.

This woman has more screws loose than an AER engine. She constantly tells the kids how bad they are, what fuckups they are, wakes them up in the middle of the night when hammered and stoned to yell at them for no reason.... just your general mental abuse type scenario. The last of the money each month is usually reserved for making sure there is enough weed in the house... not food, nor clothes for the kids.

Well, the one girl, Paige(15) has been spending more and more time with us, and we've learned the extent of how bad her mother has been. The more she had spent time here, the less she wanted to go home, to receive the abuse.

Her mother decided that suddenly she was no longer allowed to see Dawne anymore, no reason given, nothing had happened. Her mother locked her out of the house, and went away for two days, so Paige called, and we had to go pick her up... imagine locking your own kid out of their house, and leaving them to fend for herself on the streets.

Anyway, when her mom was supposed to get home, we had Paige call to tell where she was. Her mom started yelling at her, and told her that she wasn't sure she wanted her back, how bad of a person she was etc... Then she said, you have to decide now, are you coming back home, and never seeing your sister again, or are you living there. Paige said she wanted to be able to see her sister, so her Mom said, you are out, get your things within two days, then you aren't welcome here, and you no longer exist to us.

So, we now have kid #4. The thing is, she is a great kid, very polite, helps out around the house. It is a bit overwhelming having another dependent, but I'm glad we can try to give her a better life, and parenting than she was getting....

[NoQuarter]

There's a special place in the Great Beyond for you and Dawne, Brett

[Godson]

Wow, you guys are amazing to do this to help someone out. I am really speechless, really I am.



You said that you are going to try and be at Petite this year right?

[Cam]

Jeez, heart-wrenching tale. You guys are amazing.

Can't you report that freak-mom to child services or something?

[village idiot]

Theres a special place in hell for her mom!!!!

[Bubbles]

Wow....

[Leon]

You're a good person

[Lordy]

Good job man!

Did you "officially" adopt her or is she just staying with you? Let's hope her crazy mother doesn't try to throw a monkeywrench into your plans.

[Rare White Ape]

Hail you and your wife, Fogel. Seriously.

[Fogelhund]

Yes, it is my intention to go to Petit this year.

Yes, Child Services is involved.

We are in the process of trying to legally adopt her, but you are correct, the mother could cause some issues.

[fud]

Saddens me there are people like that in the world, but it's a relief it's counter-acted by people like you.

[pl8ster]

Originally Posted by NoQuarter

There's a special place in the Great Beyond for you and Dawne, Brett

Fucking right, there is. Awesome.

[Rob]

i have the utmost respect for this sort of selfless gesture.

[Emion]

Devastating situation for the kids in that household. Child Services does some fucked up things to some perfectly normal families, and I generally have little love for a good percentage of their efforts, but there is a time and a place where their services are required and it certainly sounds like this one is one of them. The foster program isn't necessarily a great one in our country, but it tends to be better than the homes some of these kids come from.

My mother adopted my nephew (my sister's son) when he was around two years old. My sister was seriously neglecting him and really just stopped taking care of him at all after the first year. My mother now fosters kids at her house up in the mountains in Oregon (1000 feet, ha!) so I have some exposure to both processes that you might be dealing with here. The bad news is that if she doesn't want to "give" you this girl, she can block you pretty easily, either keeping her in her home or forcing her into foster care if Child Services decides she's not fit to raise them anymore. Even after that point, it still ends up hard to adopt a child out of the Child Services fostering circle if the parent is "making amends" or whatever.

I don't mean to be doom and gloom here, and all of this may be different where you're at. Just cross your fingers that she's willing to just give the daughter up, and we'll keep you in our thoughts.

[Schnell]

Originally Posted by fud

Saddens me there are people like that in the world, but it's a relief it's counter-acted by people like you.

Double true. Regardless of what happens with the legal adoption thing, at least you're providing a more stable environment than the one before, which I'm sure is making a world of difference

[Godson]

Originally Posted by Fogelhund

Yes, it is my intention to go to Petit this year.

If we both happen to make it down there this year, I owe you a few cold ones for this selfless act

[faulty car]

[George]

I don't possess enough superlatives in my vocabulary to adequately express my admiration of you and your wife.

[Cam]

Well said G.

[Jason]

I have major respect for anyone that adopts, abused child or not.

Good on you guys.

[Fogelhund]

Originally Posted by Emion

The bad news is that if she doesn't want to "give" you this girl, she can block you pretty easily, either keeping her in her home or forcing her into foster care if Child Services decides she's not fit to raise them anymore. Even after that point, it still ends up hard to adopt a child out of the Child Services fostering circle if the parent is "making amends" or whatever.

I don't mean to be doom and gloom here, and all of this may be different where you're at. Just cross your fingers that she's willing to just give the daughter up, and we'll keep you in our thoughts.

Thankfully the rules are much different here. She cannot be forced to go back home, and according to the laws here, she can choose to live where she wants. We did quite a bit of research, with the Police, Child Services and a Lawyer before we got this far. There is nothing the mother can do to stop her from living here. The mother can make the steps to legal adoption longer, and more costly, but ultimately cannot stop it.

Paige met her grandmother for the first time today. We took her down to meet her.

While I appreciate the positive words, and that we are doing a good thing for her, what else can you do, unless you are a complete dick yourself?

[Random]

Originally Posted by Fogelhund

While I appreciate the positive words, and that we are doing a good thing for her, what else can you do, unless you are a complete dick yourself?

Pretty much.

Still, way to go.

[Rob]

Originally Posted by Fogelhund

While I appreciate the positive words, and that we are doing a good thing for her, what else can you do, unless you are a complete dick yourself?

so many people would sit by and claim it wasn't their problem.

[Kid]

Originally Posted by fud

Saddens me there are people like that in the world, but it's a relief it's counter-acted by people like you.

+1